We're at it again. Just when our cultural barometer can't drop any lower, I thought the show Wife Swap had taken care of that, we plunge to further depths. This catastrophic moment has coalesced around Jimmy Buffet having the #1 album in the entire country.

Think about that last sentence.

Jimmy Buffet has the #1 album in the country. The man behind such classics as 'Cheeseburger in Paradise', 'Margaritaville', and, um, uh, line?

Does this man have any other songs? I consider myself a pretty avid student of music and I have no idea what else he sings. Based on the two songs I do know, mentioned above, the man is like any other old guy on a guitar I've seen in countless bars, street corners and subways. Actually, that's an insult to subway performers, some of them I would pay to see live, something I'd never do for Buffet.

Now before all you 'parrotheads', seriously, parrotheads, get on my case and go off about the whole scene of his show, let me stop you. I grew up a huge, huge fan of the Grateful Dead, I know about 'scenes' at a show, and comparing a Buffet show to a Dead Show is blasphemy. And on the subject of Parrotheads, um no. Deadheads sure, they were first and no matter how stupid of a name it is, if you're first it's okay. But when you totally bite off one silly name and create a second even sillier name you lose all respect.

Next I'm sure you are going to say how Jimmy represents the music of the Islands, with his laid-back stylings. No he does not. You want Island music, listen to Marley, listen to Lee Perry, and listen to real reggae and dub. Don't listen to an old white dude who is in the Marley vein.

I guess that's why I dislike Buffet so much and have such disdain towards the regard people hold him in. The man is the most unoriginal musician ever, one part Grateful dead for his shows, one part Marley for his music, and the rest filled with the blandest, no rhythm, wannabe island music ever. Apparently though, I'm in the minority. People love him. He shows always sell out, though the people who comprise the majority of his audiences only go cause it's a ritual, like going to the dentist. To be fair not everyone is that dim, and some fairly intelligent people enjoy his music, I don't understand them and therefore will not comments.

Now, after 30 years of crap tunes, his album in #1. I'm telling you, across the globe, between the war in Iraq, our less than reputable President, and now Buffet at #1, it's not wonder people think Americans are cultural idiots. We is.